Ever since I struggled with anxiety and depression, many of my friends and some relatives told me to seek counseling services. They believed that I should undergo counseling treatment because I have been doing some stuff lately that they are not used to. Some of them even noticed the changes in my behavior. There was this one time that I responded negatively towards their actions, and they were shocked. They never imagined a reaction like that coming from me, who was supposed to be so calm and friendly.
I get that they only wanted to help. As far as I know, my friends and family understand the situation I am in right now. However, their idea of me seeking counseling advice is far beyond what I want to do. As much as possible, I want to heal and recover on my own. I don’t want other people to tell me what to do. Don’t get it wrong. It is not like I do not entirely believe in counseling. It is just that I had these embarrassing personal reasons why I don’t want to consider it.
“I Believe I’m Not Crazy”
At some point, I still hold on to the idea that when you ask for a piece of professional advice, it means you are on the verge of mental instability. I know that my emotions are unregulated lately and that my thoughts are wandering off, but I assure people that I am not mentally powerless. I may be anxious and depressed most of the time. But it does not mean that I cannot think clearly. I believe I am just stuck in this loop of trying to get better. Unfortunately, my strategies are a bit off, and they seem not to work.
“Counseling Is For The Weak”
I might sound super arrogant here, but I believe that counseling is only for the weak. Well, I might have spit those words out incorrectly, though. Maybe the reason why I think that counseling is only for those people who can’t handle themselves is that I do not dare want to accept that I need help. I am sourgraping, and I am putting my mind into thinking that counseling is the last resort when someone will not be able to deal with their shits altogether. And that isn’t very comfortable.
“I Would Not Know What To Talk About In A Session”
Perhaps one factor that makes me avoid considering counseling is that I entirely do not know what I should talk about. I would probably end up rambling about nonsense for the entire session. Thinking about the whole hours spent and not getting into the root of the problem already gives me the feeling that the whole process will be useless. At the start of the session, I bet that I would spend my entire time examining what I feel, how my behaviors change, how my reactions became unpredictable, etc. I don’t want to discuss those topics in a conversation because I merely want to avoid them. That’s it!
“Talking About My Problems Will Only Make It Worse”
I don’t believe that talking can solve my emotional and mental health issue. Besides, I fear that discussing something uncertain makes me feel different, and I don’t want that. As much as possible, I want to keep my negative feeling and thoughts to myself and probably get over them in due time. But clearly, I don’t like to consider counseling because I don’t want to think about the things that make me unhappy. I may be unaware of what I am dealing with, but I know for sure that I don’t want to experience those roller coasters of emotions.
“I Don’t Think Talking To A Stranger Can Make A Difference”
I don’t consider counseling services because my friends and family members can provide what I already need in this challenging situation. For me, that is enough. There is an involvement of a mutual exchange of sharing emotional problems, and my circle already knows most of that. Yes, sometimes I know that they do not entirely provide me the kind of support and empathy I need, but I am more willing to accept it even if they just leave me alone. I might be absolutely wrong here, but I don’t think a stranger would understand what I am going through because 1) I don’t spend time with the expert, and 2) I probably wouldn’t listen to what he or she says.
People would probably think that I am the most stupid person in the world for having these embarrassing reasons only to avoid counseling services. I am sorry, but I just couldn’t handle the idea that an individual will get to know my saddest and deepest thoughts and feelings. But I am not closing doors. I know one of these days, I will be able to get past these stupid reasons and motivate myself to get on counseling.