We all know someone who can’t wait to have a partner, settle down, and have kids. It seems like their priority in life is to get hitched. Is this feeling normal? What does psychiatry have to say about people, women in particular, who are anxious to get married? Why do they make it a big deal to settle down within a target age?
Sometimes, we just can’t get the anxiety surrounding the rush and pressure to get married. “Anxiety produces a state of tension that motivates us to make it stop, not unlike when a baby cries and we feel compelled to take some action to make it end. Anxiety is a natural motivator to problem solve, and to take protective action towards what we treasure most in our lives,” says Alicia H. Clark PsyD.
Some people may not get the idea of not having fun during a girls’ night out without having to hang out with men who are a potential catch. Most of us may not be able to understand why some women are putting a lot of effort into building themselves up for others without really looking into what they need inside.
Reasons Why Women Are Anxious To Get Married:
- Some women are afraid to be alone. All their friends are already spending their lives as busy wives and moms. They are worried that they will grow old without having someone. They may be lonely and are possibly searching for someone to make them happy. Happiness means falling in love, and it’s hard to take it off our minds that people who are loveless are miserable, but are they?
- Some women are excited to be mothers, and ideally, they need a husband to start a family. They must have been from a family who values motherhood, and they have prepared their whole life to be one. That’s all they ever wait for and all they ever want that they get frustrated when it doesn’t come at their ideal time.
- Some women are psychologically suffering, and they think of marriage as an escape from their troubles. They are hopeful that once they get married, they will have a new beginning. For instance, a woman might have come from a horrible childhood. She thinks that if she finds a man to take her, she finally gets away from the life that has been torturing her.
- Some women are profoundly affected by social pressure. Technology has taken over them that it has been their new standard of life. Everything they see on the internet seems to be their norm. They create their dreams around a general idea of getting married by the age of 25, or they’d be a loser.
- Some women are used to the idea that they need a man to be complete. They think that they are nothing without a man, and though one of the essences of being a woman is being a wife and a mother, they forget that having to find themselves before getting into a big responsibility contributes to the success of the family.
When you’re feeling anxious, you might feel stuck and unsure of how to feel better. You might even do things that unwittingly fuel your anxiety. You might hyperfocus on the future, and get carried away by a slew of what-ifs. – Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Psychiatry thinks of anxiety as a mental issue that needs attention, or it could affect the overall wellbeing of a person. It affects her choices because she could not wait to get it over with, so she rushes into a life-changing decision without thinking twice. Marriage is not just a trend and is definitely not an escape. It should never be out of a woman’s anxiety. It must always be out of love.
And if that can’t help, then, therapy.
“The benefits of therapy extend far beyond periods of crisis,” according to Ryan Howes, Ph.D. “Many people want more than to be ‘not depressed.’ They wonder what they can do to be the happiest, most productive, most loving version of themselves.” Same thing goes for anxiety.