I Am Not A Nice Person (A Mental Health Confession)

A lot of people say that I am a person with an unpredictable personality. They even compliment me for being too polite and nice to other individuals. Some are continually praising me for the kind of tolerance I provide even to those I don’t like. Honestly, I am not saying that I don’t enjoy how these people see and treat me. But those things are farther from the actual reason why I am like that in the first place. It is hard for me to admit this, but I am dealing with a mental condition, so I object to people’s desirable opinions about me.

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I Smile At People Because I Don’t Want Them To Get Near Me

It is both amusing and irritating why most people do not understand my body language. I know I can’t blame them because I know that I somehow give them a different vibe. But not because I smile at them often, that does not mean I want them near me. That gesture is never intended for a chit-chat or anything, but rather a connotation of wanting others to back off. I am not friendly. Instead, I am socially anxious. I don’t want to be around with people, and the most excellent way I can think of to keep their distance from me is to smile and nod at them. No, I am not shy because I am socially disturbed by other people’s actions. That is especially if it has something to do with them looking right through me.

I Always Agree To What People Say To End Conversations Immediately

Some of my colleagues and friends see me as a walking positive review machine. Almost all of them ask me questions about their personal life choices for the hope of getting positive feedback. I don’t even want to answer some of their queries. I just agree with whatever they say because I don’t want to go down with any meaningful conversations with them further. It is as if I don’t try to tell them the wrong things they tell themselves because I am scared that they might choose to stick with me for an extended period. I do not want people to bug my mind about how great their life decisions are because I know I am not interested in hearing that.

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I Stare And Nod, But I Do Not Intend To Listen To Anyone’s Advice

I am flattered that most people who met me said that I am one of the nicest persons they have ever met. But apparently, some want more from me. These individuals are not satisfied with the nods and smiles they receive from me but want to get a close relationship instead. And I’m not too fond of that. I don’t want people to have an attachment with me because if they do, they will not keep their mouth shut and eventually make a piece of unsolicited advice about how I run my life. It is a total emotional and mental disaster because I will have to force myself to deal with so many people to maintain the connection.

I Avoid Friends And Family Because I Don’t Behave Nicely In Certain Situations

The problem with other people’s expectations about me is that they see me as a person who cannot have the ability to hurt someone physically. Honestly, it can be both ways. Partly, I can’t hurt people because I know it is inappropriate. However, when I am socially anxious and get forced to deal with people despite not liking it, I tend to get violent. Sometimes, I just go on and yell at my closest family and friends because they insist on knowing a lot about my mental condition even if they entirely don’t know anything at all about it. These people somehow believe that because they are close to me, they know every bit of my mental struggle. They assume to give better resolutions and pretend they care and know better.

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I Isolate Myself Because I Don’t Appreciate Hanging Around With People

I am okay with one or two outsiders around me. I am sure I can handle that. But maximizing the numbers makes my social anxiety worse. I don’t like hanging around with people. That is why I intend to isolate myself. I prefer to be alone all the time. Unfortunately, not everyone understands my needs related to mental illness. Some believe that I am just shy, and things can soon get better once I spend time with strangers or acquaintances. But boy, they are so wrong about that. My social anxiety is worse that when people try to get near me, I experience a panic attack. Thus, it is never a solution to put me in the middle of the crowd just because people think I can be okay in a snap.

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For those who think about me differently, I am sorry to disappoint you. I am not a nice person, and I can only blame my severe social anxiety disorder.

Signs You Might Be Dealing With Emotional Pain (A Family Health Discussion)

Have you ever wondered what precisely emotional pain is? Do you only consider it as something that only makes you unhappy? Well, it is more than that. Emotional pain contains a wide array of painful experiences. Some of these experiences can either make you sad, lonely, stressed, anxious, and depressed. It is just as dangerous as physical pain. Thus, it should be taken very seriously. It is vital to be aware of your reactions and emotions to help improve your mental health.

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Emotional pain is often disregarded because nobody can seem to describe it in words. Usually, when you feel emotionally exhausted, some assume that it is just part of your thoughts. However, emotional pain is responsible for molding your behavior towards the things around you, both good and bad. So what are the signs that can tell that you might be suffering from emotional pain?

Practicing Excessive Unselfishness

Putting away all your needs for the benefit of others is okay. Honestly, it is one of the characteristics that deserve a compliment. However, though it is an admirable trait, it cannot support others’ quality of life. Often, when you are too used to prioritizing other people’s happiness over yours, you end up neglecting yourself. You become unaware of the thing you need, such as love, care, and support. In unfortunate cases, your excessive unselfishness causes you to become weak and vulnerable. So it is essential to understand that though altruism is a good trait, you also need to secure your emotional and mental needs. You also have to think that you are worthy.

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Small Life Details Becomes A Big Deal

Thinking about small things is not a bad trait at all. When you are used to micromanaging stuff at work, school, or home, it gives you an edge on finding solutions to a somewhat challenging situation. However, when every small detail of your life becomes a big deal, perhaps there is something wrong. It somehow represents a need for control. Often, when you are too obsessed with controlling everything, you develop difficulty in trusting other people. When that is the case, you have to better manage your decisions in life. Let go of the things that pressure you and just go with the flow. Allow life to take its course naturally.

Indulging Into Isolation

When you are emotionally unstable, it becomes easy to shut down everything around you. Usually, your emotional pain can come from relationship conflict with friends, co-workers, classmates, and even family members. It brings trauma that results in isolation, thinking that it is a coping strategy to perceive a sense of safety. However, it doesn’t. Without social interaction and support, you end up battling with yourself. You become your own worst enemy. With this, you need to understand that isolation is dangerous because it can intensify unhealthy thinking patterns. These patterns will soon get stuck, and your chances of breaking free from it will become entirely small.

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Relying On Perfectionism

Perfectionism, though as good as it sounds, is not a helpful trait. It is the one responsible for promoting unrealistic standards that sometimes even you can’t reach. Perfectionism often relates to emotional pain when you use it to serves as a validation of your self-worth even though you know it is not. Contrary to that idea, it only pushes you to try and become perfect, which is way too impossible to happen. With its pressure, it becomes a heavy burden to carry and soon lead to excessive people-pleasing, self-unawareness, and overachievement.

Overthinking About Things

When you are emotionally hurt, there is a tendency that you overthink. Often, you focus on the bad things repeatedly until your body gets tired, and your mind becomes mentally exhausted. You push yourself to its limits in analyzing situations you can’t control. It is a damaging habit because you will be more likely to develop issues with anxiety and depression sooner or later. With this, you must understand how to use your thoughts categorically. Meaning, if you want to think about things over, do it if you aim for solutions. Do not overthink things only to relieve the sad and agonizing life experiences.

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Forming A Toxic Relationship

Emotional pain, though it can sometimes be discreet, can manifest in the way you handle a relationship. It can pop out whether you are the abuser or the victim of abuse. Emotional pain triggers vicious patterns and behaviors that damage every relationship. These include manipulation, controlling behavior, selfishness, and so on. As for emotional wounds, it stays longer than you can imagine. Usually, when you are emotionally hurt by something, you often want to get rid of it by putting your relationship with people on the line. That is because you have this sense of security that others will understand what you are going through despite your abusive behavior toward them.

You can get away with those feelings through BetterHelp. They have licensed specialists that you can confide in with what you’re going through.


Simple And Practical Ways To Boost Mental Health During The Pandemic While At Home

With the whole COVID-19 pandemic happening in our world right now, we have no choice but to navigate through a “new normal” and adjust to its unfortunate circumstances. It has struck fear and anxiety in many, which has put different aspects of life at stake, including mental health. For people stuck at home, mental health is an aspect that can suffer due to the many changes and uncertainties the pandemic has brought about. 

In times like these, it is vital to be aware of our mental health in terms of our daily emotional state and our coping mechanisms. The new circumstances and health measures that we all have to adapt to can leave us feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable, and so we have to look out on our mental health and keep it at bay. If you are stuck at home during this pandemic, here are practical and straightforward ways to boost your mental health. 

Take A Break From News And Social Media 

The news about the pandemic can be too overwhelming as the updates and information pop out 24/7. Although it is essential to stay informed, allotting time off from TV news or social media can help you stay focused on things you can actually control and also on your daily responsibilities at home, work, or school. Another way would be setting a specific time in your daily routine for news and social media updates. 

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Journal Your Thoughts 

Journaling is a simple way to keep track of your emotions and express yourself freely. It is an excellent personal avenue to air out your thoughts and emotions. If you are feeling bottled inside, give journaling a try and write down those feelings away. A daily habit of writing on your journal and maybe even doing a simple activity of writing down three things you are grateful for each day can help you track your progress and keep yourself in check. 

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Sweat It Out 

Find a form of exercise and a routine that works best for you. Regular exercising keeps your endorphins high and increases blood circulation in your brain, thus reducing stress and keeping your body healthy. Remember, you are one workout away from feeling great!

Practice Mindfulness 

Research shows that meditation and mindfulness are beneficial to one’s mental wellness. It helps restructure the functions of the brain and the way we perceive things. In these trying times, we might be feeling and thinking all sorts of things all at once, and so through meditation and deep breathing, we allow ourselves to get some headspace and feel present-moment awareness.

If you are new to the practice, you may want to try guided meditation applications. It is also good to pause for a moment and do deep breaths when you are suddenly feeling caught up. 

Eat Right And Healthy 

Our daily food intake and eating habits are two things we can alter right now to boost our overall health. More than ever, we need the vitamins and minerals from the food we eat to build healthy gut bacteria and boost our immune system, which is our number one shield from contracting the coronavirus.

Moreover, the food we eat also affects the chemical or hormonal balance of our brain, which affects our mood and emotions. Eating healthy may be a challenge for a lot of us, but it is one of the things you can control to stay healthy amidst the pandemic. Stick to whole foods and include vegetables and fruits in your meals. 

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Do Something New Or Revisit Old Hobbies 

Give yourself some time to unwind- a mental break from your usual responsibilities and activities. If you have always wanted to learn or try while at home, now is the best time. Perhaps try out a new recipe, plant your food, or pick up a new book. While being stuck at home, it is also the perfect time to revisit old hobbies that you have been putting off. Maybe paint, play some board games or videogames, or play an instrument. 

A Takeaway

According to neurologist Dr Konstantinos Petsanis, MD, PhD, “Mental health repercussions regarding what is happening during this pandemic for people, today and beyond, will really be a problem in general.” This reason is why it is vital to prioritize and care for your mental health in these trying times.

Try checking out BetterHelp so you’ll find the better help that you need. There are specialists in the site meant to help you solve your issues in life.

Find ways and practices that resonate with you the most in making yourself feel happy and healthy.  We are all stuck at home, trying to navigate through this new normal in one way or another. Remind yourself that it is okay to feel mixed up emotions and that this too shall pass.

Tips For Women To Manage Anxiety During The COVID-19 Pandemic

With COVID-19 spreading across the globe, everyone is now facing massive disruptions in their daily lives. Despite its seemingly flu-like symptoms, the novel coronavirus can be lethal for a small but significant subset of the population. The fear of catching the virus, as well as economic uncertainties brought about by social distancing measures, can be a source of anxiety for many people. Women’s health can suffer during these trying times, so here are tips for women to mitigate their distress and to cultivate their physical and mental health.

Understand The Risks

Research shows that women are more likely to suffer from anxiety than men. Perhaps brain chemistry or hormonal changes play a role here. Behaviorally, women have different coping strategies. They are more likely to resort to stress-inducing rumination, compared to men who prefer problem-solving based rumination. While these are generalizations, they show that women in general face high risks from anxiety-inducing scenarios, such as a growing pandemic.

The main takeaway here is for you to see how certain mindsets and behaviors can make you more prone to anxiety. For example, fight the urge to dwell on stressful thoughts. In light of the pandemic, focus your energy and resources on finding ways to reduce the risk of exposure for you and your loved ones. It may also help to distract yourself so that you can break the continuous thoughts of fear and dread in your mind.

Learn About The Situation

You may think that you know what you need, but it won’t hurt to increase your awareness about the current situation. Learning about the specific events unfolding now will help reduce the uncertainty in your mind. Doubt is an authoritative source of stress and anxiety, and the antidote to it is awareness.

Particularly, read about what different stakeholders, such as the government or businesses, are doing in these trying times. You might also consider learning more about what future scenarios look like weeks or even months from now.

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Be Wary Of Taking Information

However, take note that not all information sources are useful. Many articles and videos only serve to sow discontent and fear as a marketing strategy. These types of content have clickbait titles and present sensationalized content, all as a way to attract more viewers. Stay away from these content as much as possible.

Despite what naysayers may proclaim, there is lots of hope. The world will not go back to the status quo after the health crisis ends because society now has a new normal to anticipate.

Stay Connected To People

Most people find joy in connecting with people. Women’s preferences vary. Some like to talk to as many people as they can in a single sitting, while others like to spend long hours conversing with someone very close to them. However, strict social distancing measures can mean that you only have limited opportunities to socialize.

Communication technologies shine during these times. You can choose from various messaging and telecommunications software to remain in touch with others. Spend some time every day, catching up with your family and friends. Listen to them as they share their insights and feelings, and be prepared to share yours. According to Erwin Tan, M.D., AARP, “Family and friends will need to work together to make sure they can remain connected without exposing each other to COVID-19.”

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Find Ways To Help

Empowerment is a potent tool against anxiety. There are many ways to help, including donating money or resources to frontliners keeping critical services running. You can start information drives to inform others about what’s happening and how they should help. You can even try more unique methods, such as using your computer’s resources to help scientists study the novel coronavirus.

Every little action counts towards a healthier society, and altruism can also help you feel good.

Seek Professional Services

Finally, if you have anxiety disorders or other mental health conditions, make sure that you have the tools you need to manage. Check if you have a sufficient supply of any medications. Reach out to your therapist and ask about ways to stay in contact. For example, a telemedicine setup can help you access consulting services whenever you need them.

Women’s mental health can suffer as the global pandemic continues to spread. However, you have the power to protect yourself from anxiety. Whatever happens, remember to take care of yourself.

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Aside from physical wellbeing, mental health also becomes an issue during pandemics and other crises. The overall pessimism and uncertainty can stress many people, adding to the fear of eventually catching the disease. Children are also prone to mental stress, especially if they don’t have adequate knowledge about the current situation.

Things To Consider Before Getting A Divorce

Melissa and Harvey have been married for eleven years. Melissa recounted that they have a blissful life until she got pregnant after trying for almost six years. The house was full of energy while both expecting parents were excited about the coming of their first-born child. However, during Melissa’s second trimester, she got into a car accident and lost her baby. After this incident, Melissa’s outlook on life changed and she started to feel depressed most of the time. On the other hand, Harvey expressed frustration and disappointment in helping Melissa with her emotional problems. He no longer feels the connection that he used to have with the relationship. He was already considering getting a divorce. 


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On War With Negative Body Image

“Oftentimes it seems to come out of nowhere. It might speak up when you’re in the fitting room, when you’re going to the gym, when you’re getting ready for dinner, when you’re eating, when you’re focused on a project for work, when you’re walking down the street. One of the toughest parts about silencing that negative voice is that it sounds suspiciously similar to our own voice.” Margarita Tartakovsky, MS talks about negative body image.

Women these days inescapably feel insecure about their bodies and physical appearance. It makes them attempt to manipulate their bodies to please the eyes of everyone. Celebrities seen on television tend to demonstrate how to become successful and popular by being thin. And this is what we call the “thin-ideal media” concept where most actresses who have important roles in films or shows are undeniably thin. It seems like every year the body size of women portrayed by the mass media is getting smaller and smaller. We can’t deny the fact that this type of women is marketable and considered by the majority as attractive. 


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Improving Nutrition To Boost Mental Health

“Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It influences how we think, feel, and behave. It also determines how we cope with stress, relate to others, and make choices. Although we may think of mental health in terms of having a mental health diagnosis such as depression, mental health issues impact everyone,” according to Certified Coach Amanda Morris PsyD.

If you are feeling down in the dumps lately, having problems with your relationships or connections, you may have to consider changing your diet completely. The research on nutritional intake concerning the onset of mental health imbalances has connected specific food items that help boost and improve emotional states. Most experts agree with the findings of these studies and have promoted the practice to their patients who are experiencing difficulties in handling psychological conflicts, especially on mood disorders. “All food is not created equal, and the dietary choices we make affect our bodies and minds over the weeks, months and years,” according to Lauren Broch, PhD, a clinical health psychologist.


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Overcoming Gamophobia: The Fear Of Marriage

It’s not unheard of for either the bride or groom to get cold feet before the wedding. Some pre-wedding anxiety is perfectly normal and natural, as virtually everyone experiences such anxiety to one degree or another. – John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

Some people have “cold feet” about the idea of committing for life through a sacred bond called marriage. They may be afraid of getting a lifetime commitment; nonetheless, they can have romantic relationships. It may be described by those who have gamophobia that their fear of marriage is parallel to the fear of dying. People having this type of phobia either remain spinsters, bachelors or committed to a single partner for the rest of their life. 

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5 Things Women Are Anxious About

In today’s world where social media makes a tremendous deal of influence, most women are rushing to blend in or make their way to be noticed or be extraordinary. The powerful force of opinion is what runs this world now. It is what causes anxiety in women, and they just don’t want to admit it, or they may be unaware of it.

“Anxiety is a reaction to a situation we perceive as stressful or dangerous,” says Monique Reynolds, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist.

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